Shuffleboard Maximus

A baby! A baby! A soon-born child!

What have I done? What have we all done?

Once upon a time there was a dunce who made a rhyme and he was understood but I’m the one who wonders if he’s fine and if I blunder it’s a crime to be the wonderful benign pathetic dumbass with a line or two to comfort his own mind

I’m not bleeding, I’m dripping with sarcasm

Oho, we are a little late, aren’t we?

Delving into the deepest corners of your mind, you discover that you desperately need to Swiffer, but static electricity doesn't actually work in this dimension. You shrug hopelessly and shuffle your feet in a little two-step to work off the anxiety. Giants loom in the distance, leering, but you ignore them as you focus on the most important thing you can think of.

I'm perfectly normal! you shout uselessly into the gale as the stormclouds darken the sky. I'm just like all the rest of you, I just get a little mixed up sometimes! No one believes you, not even yourself. It's ugly, but there isn't time for you to reformulate your plan of attack, so you collapse on the ground and aren't sure if you did it on purpose or not. No one comes to look for you.

There hasn't been a solid explanation in week and you've given up on asking. The truth is no longer an option, but the lies are unbearably laughable and the arbiters have absconded all pretense of neutrality. But if it was pretense, did it ever actually matter? A crooked limb shudders and creaks under the weight of the snow.

The truth? What does that word even mean? Sounds like something you might use to mash fruit for cobbler. Let's take the truth and crush the juice right out of these berries.

gortical streptorsh mer bicken jeepster

what the fuck man. I mean like. what the fuck. I don't even.

I still brood over your malevolence but I am learning to let it go. You must hope for what's best for your enemies so they can stop being such useless buck duggers.

I had a sleep, they told me. I had a good sleep. I never awakened, they told me. I am shake and bakened.

ashes

haven't bleeked a murph rockstible

utterly normative gender performative splendor comported as rendered distortion
I shudder with your given centering listen spending fortunate men turning scores in

handwich the dock-spaggle, meep xir condequast wicktual despordeckedent wick stangible

BUNG STUNGIBLE

hacknar bickey doock awk mer vor dest clamt morglestly

haven't never saddened clever fur-clad endeavor furnishing ever turgid compulsion sure for eruption

half-muttered malingering

cross-pollinate and collaborate

a lot of good conversations going on

as we start to look at our strategic plans, we will talk a little bit about the budget but not spend as much time on the budget as the actual plan

once your plans and strategies and your plans and your budgets are approved with your liason I don't need to be involved in the approval process

we have a lot on the docket

Profundity

No one ever uses the metaphor of constipation for writer's block even though most people only talk shit out their mouths like an episode of South Park.

The shadow of mortality lengthens as the sun approaches the horizon.

I need a new elevator speech, but first I need to figure out who I am. No, that sounds like some Life's Little Instruction Book bullshit. I need a new elevator shaft.

Ask your doctor and help make tomorrow possible. Or else you die. Actually, you die either way.

round in the middle, hounded a bit, the sound of acquittal making the best of surroundings

bounded and brittle, pounded the fiddle, gown is a little lengthier than it had sounded

plenty of works are astounding, first of the wicked, burst with a prick and thirstier than a stick

when these commercials get loud the worst kind of dick is nursing afflictions worse than addiction

What was I saying again?

Ah, that's right. Sinister lies and tornadoes.

It's extremely unlikely that you'll recover the original from these. Or will you? I'd pay a dollar for an algorithm that could reverse engineer what a machine has learned.

Parched lips too dry to prime the pump, but maybe I just need a glass of water.

Rhyme engine falters, time again halted, stymied and tolerated, combining exonerated, stop smiling and don your grey bib as rocks fly in cadence; mock my pervasive obnoxious inflated toxicity based in less oxygenated Stockholm compression and not learn a lesson complex as an awkward question? Yes, then we'll express jocular effluence often in retrospective sessions concealing regret from our brethren.

Simulation artifacts and stimulation architects

Your perception is significantly less precise than this recreation.

Often, generic information is deemed as knowledge but does not relate to existing configurations in the organization. Wherefore dost thou maintain the masquerade?

Celebrator Rex: Y'all still reckon to step in my session while effluent pestilence extrudes with such prescient prevalence? Executed for defection, the ghostly remnant host condemns explosives sent remotely to provoke these folks to open fire so we can extol freedom.

Welcome to the Titanic. Here is your paddle. Turn this ship around or you're fired.

Temper Mental Toaster is victorious... for later too.

Oh, my God, I'm feeling sick!

repeatedly seeking these weaknesses, steeped in the gleefulness
street lights complete sight and reap the weak feces-grinning least bit unseasoned heathen screaming,
"Jesus he was bleeding, seems to me the lethal feats of heat-seeking leaping freakish steaming feet and burrito peels leaking seeping cheesy grease
like peacemakers eating genius-reasons phoenix-seasoned remixed decomposed
dream of a fiend's healed reasoning streaming beans of seemingly green healthy feelings
stealing heathens' hearts and leaving parts to seem unreasonably lean, mean, and steaming mad
feeling sad, congealing cadmium pleases the least of the preening seamstresses
reading reasonably decent free serial scenes leaving unforeseen clean careening sealant
seems seeds of serious streams seating and speaking
keeping dream memes leaning helium-dealing demons neat and evenly teamed

Unfamiliarity

It's difficult to remember to forget to give a shit sometimes. It's frustrating how difficult that proposition is to frame in this choppy hacking crazy Germanic language. Design and functionality grow unrelated as the gulf between perception and measurement grows.

Who are you again?